I love this man who lives in Belgium, I live in NY.... He wants me to move there so bad?
and I want to also... Story is, I already went there with intentions on not re, turning. Reason is because we had fought a lot, and I believe its because of the language barrier. I left, behind his back, because I knew if he knew that i was planning on leaving he would not let me go! While I was there he supported me 100%, paid for everything, showed me everything, I even started to attend school to learn the Netherlands Language. My dream was to always live in Europe. Now while I was there I was extremely home sick, missing my family and friends. I know i have to grow up eventually, i am 27, but i also know it is normal to miss ppl, and NY is my home! Now that i am back i want to go back to Belgium because I him him, I'm just afraid that if I go back, i will want to return here again... i am soo confused! Any advice will help! Thank you!
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
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1 :
life is a risk an exploring,,, learning a new language will be exciting go for it being homesick it will happen but you need to go out an find something new
2 :
You yourself have to think if its really a risk you want to take. If you two love eachother and he takes care of you I would say take the risk. Your friends and family will always be there but he might not. I would say go for it. If it dosn't work you can always come back. Try to make it work, relationships are all about compromise and understanding. I know what its like to be in a relationship with a language barrier, theres a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings. So I feel you but just try to learn the language and let him know he needs to try to do the same. Good luck.
3 :
From the outside looking in, I noticed a few red flags that you may not be aware of. He supported you 100%? if he is supporting you financially then he has control over you. I'm not saying he's controlling, I'm just saying that if he wanted to he could. If you are going to move, be as independent as possible. You also said that you two were fighting alot because of language barrier. Is that what you were really arguing about? I can promise you that the arguments will not get better; it only gets worse as time progresses. Another red flag, you left without telling him. That's a big deal! In a healthy relationship you should be able to tell your partner anything..especially something big like Im going back to NY! You said that if you told him he wouldn't let you leave. He shouldn't pressure you like that. He should let you come and go as you please no matter how much he loves you. If you were to go back, would he allow you to leave? You say you have always wanted to live in Europe. Did you want to live in Europe before you met this guy? If so then it's something to really consider. Write down the pros and cons of moving and staying. Take your emotions out of this decision! Love will fog your judgement and you may not make the best choice. It may be helpful to look into the rights married women have in Belgium. If you were to marry him you need to know what rights you have because their laws may be different than the USA. Also, think about how your family feels about you moving. I know this is your life but you will effect them too with this decision. NO one in this world will love you as much as your family will love you, not even this guy that you are in love with. Remember that.
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